


Falling and Failing

by winterhats



Series: Strangers [2]
Category: Kagerou Project, Mekakucity Actors
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - No Powers, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Shintaro: you can't catch me gay thoughts, Unresolved Tension, age appropiate drinking, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:42:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25929838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winterhats/pseuds/winterhats
Summary: Shintaro has not made friends since highschool, and even that ended up blowing up in his face. Of course he's glad that's solved now, but it still meant he was very out of practice in the social department. Making a new friend didn't sound entirely bad, really, even if it was Kano Shuuya.(No eye powers AU, CONT. of another fic) (Gay panic mode activated).
Relationships: Enomoto Takane | Ene & Kisaragi Shintaro, Enomoto Takane/Kokonose Haruka | Ene/Konoha, Kano Shuuya/Kisaragi Shintaro, Kokonose Haruka | Konoha & Kisaragi Shintaro, implied kidomomo
Series: Strangers [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1881844
Comments: 17
Kudos: 41





	Falling and Failing

**Author's Note:**

> I think this is the longest one-shot I've ever written.
> 
> Heads up: it'd be best to read my other fic "Strangers" before this one. I guess this could be a stand alone fic but there's too many references to that fic, given it's a direct follow up.
> 
> Anyways, enjoy the nonsense.

"Cheers!"

The glasses clink against each other in a way that makes Shintaro feel light hearted and cheerful, and that's not something he gets to feel often. He drowns a smile in the sip of his soda, listening to the excited chatter of the bar.

"I can't believe you finally got a job. It weirds me out to think about," sitting in front of him, Takane does what she does best and makes him frown. "I'm really happy for you, really."

And quickly the frown is off. Shintaro shrugs, "It's... really not the big deal you guys make it out to be."

"Of course it is!" Haruka, sitting besides Takane, joins in just as cheerfully. "It's not easy getting through interviews and stuff. It's especially admirable given the fact these things have never been easy for you, so it's the extra plus of the extra work you have to put in that makes it a big deal!"

Takane quickly nods along Haruka's words, and Shintaro just looks away. It's a bit embarrassing to have his friends fuzz over him getting a shitty job at a grocery store to the point they wanted to go out to eat in order to celebrate, but he can't say he hates the attention. It's nice to be appreciated.

And you know what? It's true. It _is_ hard getting out of your comfort zone, and though Shintaro can't say he's proud of getting his first job at twenty six, the unmistakable feeling of fulfillment is still present.

Even Momo was happy for him, even if at first she was convinced he was joking when he said he has intentions of helping pay rent. His heart still squeezes inside him when he remembers that after finally accepting he was serious, all Momo said was "don't worry about rent, please just put that money into therapy."

Shintaro is _also_ not thrilled about the prospect of therapy, but he learned to not take offense in it when he's told to seek help. He knows his sister and friends just want to help, really, but there was something about the "get help" sentence that makes Shintaro's skin crawl. Somehow, a shitty part time job sounded easier than going to a therapist.

But whatever. He doesn't really want to think about that right now. It's not like he's even started working, anyway.

"Are you nervous at all? You're starting on monday, after all."

_Yikes._

Just the mention of a monday is making him freak out, honestly. He just really doesn't wanna think about it. For now he's just happy with the _response_ of the news of him getting a job, not about the fact he got one. Not being able to get one at least he had the excuse of "unemployed but looking", it caught him really off guard when he was actually hired.

"I'm fine," Shintaro lies. He's terrified and does not want to do this. "I mean I'd rather live in a world where I don't have to do this but if I wanna get anywhere near getting my shit together I'm gonna need a salary."

Takane raises her glass, "Cheers I'll drink to that."

"Yeah," he chuckles awkwardly, looking down at his paper napkin as he keeps fiddling with its corner. "And, uh. Thanks."

Both Haruka and Takane share a look, "For what?"

_God, isn't it obvious?_

"Whatever," Shintaro doesn't answer the question because it's too embarrassing to say "for being there for me", so instead he just tries changing the subject before they insist. He directs at Haruka, "Anyway, are you gonna pick that stupid painting up from my place or not?!"

"Oh, that," Haruka goes, as if he genuinely forgot about the cursed existence of the infamous painting. How could he forget is a mystery, given how they _actually broke into private property_ to take it and became a pretty nerve wrecking moment Shintaro isn't sure he's ever gonna be able to get over. "Sorry, I keep forgetting to pick it up!"

"Yeah well, as you keep forgetting to pick it up it lays in my apartment, being dreadful. Momo covered it with a table cloth because she insisted its eyes follow you around the room," Shintaro tries chuckling as a way of saying _"isn't she an idiot?"_ despite knowing very well he was the one scared of it and covered it. "You need to get that shit out! It's been sitting at my apartment for months."

"I know, I know! Sorry!"

"Well, since I'm dropping you guys off later and your place is the first stop you can just fetch it for Haruka?" Takane offers, which didn't seem like a bad idea.

"Yeah, alright... What are you even gonna do with it though?"

Haruka hums, "I was hoping to cover it? It's a rather big canvas after all, it'd be a shame to let it go to waste!" 

"Leaving that jerk's face on it would surely be a waste, yes," Takane sweetly adds, and though Haruka playfully rolls his eyes at her disdain, he doesn't disagree.

"Yeah, as I said, I'm pretty sure it's haunted so maybe it's better off in a bunch of flames."

"Wasn't _Momo_ the one saying it's haunted?"

"Whatever!"

Haruka and Takane share a laugh, while Shintaro just hmph's and smushes a handful of fries in his mouth.

As he hoped either of them changed the subject again, an employee steps up on the... stage? Wow. When did that get there?

The apparent host on stage announced and welcomed the people present tonight, so Shintaro leans a bit towards the table and asks, "What's going on?"

"Ah, there's gonna be a comedy show," Takane answers, not paying much attention to the situation as she looked at her phone. "There's always a few on saturday nights here."

"Oh, wow. You come here often?"

Takane shrugs and exhanges a look with Haruka, who also didn't seem surprised at the prospect of a show, and Shintaro just leaves it at that. The idea of Haruka and Takane hanging out by themselves is always frightening and a constant threat in the back of his mind, but he doesn't want to think about it so he just shuts the thought away and sips on his soda.

He didn't listen to the announcement on stage nor he intended to pay attention to the show, but Haruka and Takane's fixated eyes on it seemed... strange. Suddenly, a different voice than the host's rings through the bar in just the same volume,

"Good night! Thank you for joining us this evening, I hope you're all doing well..."

Shintaro feels as if air was being sucked out of his lungs. His eyes become dry in just a second as he looked at Kano Shuuya standing there, taking no time after his hello to start his stand up show.

He almost wanted to drink water just to spit it out. He looked back at Haruka and Takane, who were just as astonished as him.

As Kano's voice ringed in the background and consequential laughter of the public ensued, t's Haruka the first one to speak up, "Isn't the world a small place?"

Shintaro clicks his tongue. Takane chugs on her beer with an exasperated look.

"D – do you think he'll recognize us?"

Takane shifts on her seat awkwardly, "I personally haven't seen the guy in like ten years, so..."

Haruka puts his hand up next to his face as if to hide himself from the person on stage, "I – I saw him last year when the entire commission thing happened."

"I saw him a few months ago when he, uh, gave me Ayano's letter," Shintaro sighs. "I don't think he'll see us from here, at least..."

"Well, what if he does? It's not like he knows we broke into his house."

"Takane!"

"What! He doesn't! He would've called the cops on us," Takane rolls her eyes, and then turns to Shintaro, "Besides, isn't his sister dating yours? You've got a sort of direct connection there and you haven't heard any accusations, have you?"

Shintaro blinks at her, "Well, no..."

"There you go!" she leans back on her chair with a satisfied smile, "If he does see us, all he will do is say hello and move on. Honestly, if he sees us he'll probably avoid us given how he fucking scammed Haruka."

"It's true," Haruka nods. "I don't believe anyone's shameless enough to just walk up to someone you had that attitude with."

_Then again not everyone is Kano,_ Shintaro thinks, but doesn't say.

Thing is, Haruka and Takane are probably right. Honestly, he's not sure why he even thought "not everyone is Kano" as if he knew the guy. If it wasn't for the fact he showed up at his doorstep that one day he could also say he hasn't seen him in like ten years. And besides, it's technically because of him and his letter delivery that he even called Haruka and Takane again and they reconciled.

So, yeah, Shintaro absolutely did not know Kano further than "it's Ayano's little brother." Sure, she'd talk about him and he sounded like a handful, but there's just something about him that put him off. Maybe because he'd just glare at him everytime he was over, then the fact he _scammed_ Haruka, but besides that it's just... the vibes he put out just communicated he was up to no good at all times.

If you're remotely acquainted with Kano you're gonna think he's a strange guy, Shintaro's sure everyone who meets him feels this way.

Sighing, he decides to just let it go and eat more fries. 

Haruka and Takane's solution to the situation was also to eat fries, so that's just what they all did.

The audience seemed to be receiving Kano really well, even Takane found herself laughing at one point, which she seemed incredibly embarrassed about. Haruka patted her back with a sorry smile.

On his part, Shintaro really couldn't bring himself to even listen to his number. All he did was stare, as if he still couldn't believe the situation.

Again, Haruka and Takane are probably right. Kano's probably just gonna do his gig, be done in about ten minutes and then be on his way and they'll never have to cross paths with him again nor think about the fact they _broke into his house._ He feels like he can't mention that enough. It's just so surreal they got away with something like that and then the guy goes and does a stand up show at a bar they also happen to be in.

And suddenly, Kano sees him. Stares right back at him with laser-like focus.

It was probably for a split second, because the guy doesn't get distracted and continues landing punch lines right after the other with the perfect timing and pauses, so for a moment Shintaro thinks he imagined it.

But oh boy, he's sure he didn't. He wishes he did though.

And just as he predicted, it was over after about ten minutes, and soon Kano was saying good night and thanking everyone for their time. Then he was out and the host was back to announce the next person and that was it.

Shintaro felt like he could breathe again. He practically melts in his chair, "Well, that was nerve wrecking."

"Why?" Takane asks. She _dares_ ask.

"Uh, _why?_ Did we or did we not break into that guy's house?"

"We did but like, other than this being a really funny and unfortunate encounter I don't think it's nerve wrecking," she shrugs. "If he knew and dared be mad about it I'd simply knock his front teeth out. You can't go around scamming artists and then be mad about revenge."

"R – revenge isn't the word I'd like to use for that. I'd say uuuh, a taste of his own medicine!"

"That's a saying directly meaning revenge, Haruka."

Haruka covers his face, "I feel guilty about it!"

"Why!" Takane turns to Haruka beside her and furrows her brows. "Bitch had it coming. We've had this conversation. He's lucky I didn't throw glue inside his drawers."

" _We_ are lucky we didn't break a limb jumping through the window," Shintaro adds. "Even if you wanted to do something like that it's not like we had time or something."

Takane was about to snap back at him when suddenly a shadow towers over their table. The three of them turn their heads almost immediately, in a rather normal sentiment, only to see, well. _Well._

Who else?

Casually sitting in the available spot next to Shintaro, Kano says, "Well, isn't this a small world!"

Just like Haruka said himself earlier. Speaking of Haruka, Shintaro recalled in his mind his friend's voice saying _"I don't believe anyone's shameless enough to just walk up to someone you had that attitude with."_ "Long time no see!"

_I saw you for approximately five months ago, asshole._

Shintaro wanted to gag.

He didn't answer, and instead just looked straight at Haruka and Takane in front of him, who still stared at the blond with expressionless faces and open mouths. It's Takane the one who snaps out of it, "...Y – yeah, long time no see..."

Her words seem to get Haruka back to earth as well, "Y – yup! Haha."

Kano smiles, "Did you enjoy the show?"

The three of them start speaking at the same time with positive sentiments, "Sure! It was great!" and more of the kind, which he seemed to greatly appreciate, so you could tell he liked being praised.

"I saw you while I was up there and I almost lost my cool!" the three of them freeze, because _what does this mean?_ Why would he lose his cool? Does he _know what they did?_ "Because like! How small can the world be, you know!"

_Can you please stop giving us mini heart attacks?!_

"I can't believe you guys are still friends after all this time, that's crazy," Kano shoots, and yup, ouch. Shintaro looks down, so he doesn't see how Haruka and Takane receive the statement. "That's some friendship right there."

"Y – yeah, haha..." Shintaro hears Haruka and Takane's awkward laughs, and really wants to puncture himself into the sun.

A heavy and thick silence falls on the table, though there's still the current comedian and small chatter from the bar plus laughs in the background. Not that that made it any less awkward. But it was like Kano either didn't care or just couldn't read the mood. Shintaro felt it was that he didn't care. 

After about thirty seconds of that, Takane sighs through her nose and presses the button at the side of the table to call a waiter. She puts up the card menu, hiding her face, "I need a drink."

Surely enough, her glass was empty. Shintaro wasn't much of a drinker but he honestly felt the same way. The waitress seemed to be around, because she's there in only seconds.

Before Takane could do a request, Kano, _still_ spectacularly ignoring the awkwardness, just goes, "Oh! Oh! You should get a long island iced tea!"

Takane frowns immediately, "That sounds like a cocktail."

"It is!" he laughs. Resting his face on his hand, Kano looks at her with a snarky face, "It's a real punch and you look like you could use one."

Haruka and Shintaro quickly grimace in fear of Takane's reaction, but all she does is turn to the waitress and speak with a tired tone, "Okay, I'll have that."

_Seriously, Takane, just quit your job before you become an alcoholic._

Kano made an order as well, making it very clear he intended to stay here, and given that fact Shintaro reluctantly orders a drink too. Haruka just orders more food, of course, and soon enough the waitress was on her way.

And then back in silence. Or that would be if they weren't sitting with Kano, and they are, so forget about the silence, "What's wrong with cocktails anyway? Don't girls love them?"

Takane rolls her eyes, "You ordered a cocktail too."

"Well, they're fruity and nice!"

"Why get defensive if you were the one saying they were girly!"

"I didn't say they were girly, I said girls like cocktails."

"Which is just a _stereotype–_ "

And somehow, Takane and Kano found themselves in a banter. Surprisingly it was a friendly one, which Shintaro was not happy about. Is this woman stupid? She's really out here being inviting to this guy, letting him sit here and crash their night which mind you, was supposed to be about Shintaro and his incredible accomplishments at real life.

Haruka just ate peanuts.

However, soon enough their drinks and food arrived, putting the banter to a pause.

Shintaro looked at his drink with disdain. Why did he order alcohol, really? Drinking to be accepted in a social reunion despite no one cares what he does? How old are you, dumbass? He sighed and forced himself to drink it.

Fortunately, as to not let anyone see him make a face of disgust at his drink, Takane lets out a raspy "eeew" after drinking hers. Kano immediately cheers, "I told you it was a punch."

"It's disgusting," despite her words, she's hooked on the straw like it was a slushie.

"Didn't you already have like two beers?" Shintaro raises an eyebrow, "You're supposed to take us home later."

"Haruka can drive," Takane says, as if it was the most logical answer ever. And– well, it was. Haruka just chuckles.

This is not at all how he expected tonight to go. Shintaro got a job this week, texted his friends about it, they got excited and said "let's celebrate on saturday and go get a drink!" and he thought it was gonna be that. Maybe later they'd go to his place and play Mario Kart or something nice like that, but _no._ Kano fucking Shuuya enters the scene and won't leave.

If Shintaro wasn't a spineless loser he'd turn to him and say "hey, jackass. Why are you here." Alas... he's a spineless loser.

Really, he has no idea why Takane isn't jumping across the table to strangle him. She was literally just talking about how she was gonna punch his front teeth out! Maybe those two beers she had didn't work in her favour, or maybe she thought breaking into his house was punishment enough. Which really, it probably was, but that still didn't mean they should just sit here with him out of politeness. Yet here they are.

Surprisingly, from then on the night went on with a normal course. Kano _did not_ move from the seat that became his, and eventually Haruka and Takane stopped being awkward enough to make the situation bearable.

As they chatted in a friendly manner, Shintaro couldn't figure out how they did it. How did they manage to make this normal and just... not weird when it was totally weird? It's completely beyond him. All he can do is sit back and watch it happen.

He guesses Takane's very questionable sober status had something to do with it. Not that normal Takane doesn't have a filter or isn't loud, but drunk Takane had another level of honesty– Shintaro blames Kano for recommending her a drink with way too much alcohol in it. He thought he's seen her drunk but oh, that was nothing compared to this.

"And _then_ she told me she wasn't gonna have the coffee _SHE TOLD ME_ to buy so I had to get rid of it," Takane growled, violently stirring the ice cubes in her glass with her straw, as if to melt them to make the last drop of alcohol last longer. "Does she think this is The Devil Wears Prada? Is this a fucking joke? I almost bite her hand off."

Takane doesn't even pause to breath as she talks about her mother, that's how he notices how drunk she actually is. Normally, she's all in for an off hand comment of her parents and especially her mother being the worst, but this was the first time he's ever heard her actively talking about specific situations.

Shintaro watched her with a boring expression and Haruka tried to comfort her even though she seemed absolutely fine, and Kano was incredibly the only one taking the situation in the way Takane probably enjoyed it the most: he just laughed.

"It doesn't even sound like she's your mom," Kano helpfully offers, and both Haruka and Shintaro wince. "Just seems like a shitty boss."

Surprisingly, instead of breaking a glass bottle to attack him, Takane just snaps her fingers, "Oh, she does some A+ parenting as well. Once I wore the same earrings for like a week and she offhandedly commented how _"I'm letting myself go"_. She also does an amazing job at fixing me up with lawyers ten years older and shit."

Haruka is obviously a bit taken back, _obviously,_ "Oh. I didn't know she also did that."

Shintaro rolls his eyes, "Bad news, Haruka. You aren't a lawyer ten years older than her."

Kano laughs. Well, good to know there's someone who appreciates fine comedy around here. Haruka and Takane always awkwardly look away whenever he points out their obvious relationship through a joke. He's already a third wheel, it's within his right to make jokes, the least they could do is _laugh!_

But oh well, it's nice to have at least one laugh around, even if it's Kano's. He'll take it. Takane on the other hand just ignores him and answers Haruka,

"Yeah, they're memories I intend to repress. Are you going to finish that?" Takane points at Shintaro's drink. He sighs and slides it her way; she takes her straw out of her glass to put in his. "Anyways when I quit I'll spit her in the face. Haruka do your magic trick."

Haruka blinks at her, "What?"

She changes topics so quickly, seriously.

"Your magic trick!" she says, a little too loudly, hitting Haruka on the shoulder (probably intending it to be soft, but leaving Haruka patting the area). "They're gonna lose their minds. It's so cool."

Haruka chuckled bashfully while Takane stupidly hyped him up, so Shintaro didn't guess it was gonna be something not-dumb, "Is it a card trick?"

"Yes!"

He sighs, but Kano laughs, "Go ahead then! I'd love to see it."

"Did you bring a card deck with you– You brought a card deck with you," this night is just getting weirder and weirder.

"Okay, so," Haruka starts shuffling the cards, and Shintaro already wanted to die. "Tell me any card."

"Uh," Shintaro shares a look with Kano, but he just gestures at him to go ahead and pick himself. Shintaro shakes his head and reluctantly says, "King of spades?"

"Okay!" Haruka had stopped shuffling already, and on her part, Takane was evidently hyped up as she stared really hard at how he did everything. Shintaro guesses that when Haruka did the trick with her it blew her mind and she was trying to use this opportunity to figure out what slid of hand he did. "Okay, so there's one card that is turned the opposite way in the deck and that card is– this one~"

He holds up the card that had been turned around from all others, and of course it was the king of spades. Shintaro shakes his head, "Shut up."

Kano leans in, not smiling for a moment, "How'd you do that!?"

Haruka laughs. Takane takes his deck and starts looking through it as if she was trying to prove it was a prop or something, "It's bullshit, right!?"

"Sitting alone in his room watching a youtube video like "oh Takane's gonna think this is so sick"," Shintaro says, and for the first time, thank god Kano's here because he laughs at his joke again. Haruka just smiles bashfully and Takane frowns. He still says, "I'm _joking,_ I'm joking. But I'm sure it still upped your game."

Silence again– except for Kano's "pfff". This time Takane has an immediate answer though. In fact, she stands up to say it: "I have to pee."

...They all look up at her, a bit taken back. Shintaro chuckles a bit, "Uh. Okay? Have fun."

Takane gives a nod and squeezes through Haruka to get out of her chair, only to immediately stumble– Haruka quickly gets up, "I – I better walk you there."

Shintaro hears Takane mumble a complaint, but she allows Haruka to place his hands on her shoulders to walk her. He sighs as they disappear through the bar.

Kano loses no time to ask, "Are they a couple?"

"I honestly have no idea," Shintaro reluctantly answers, and he would love to say that an uncomfortable silence follows, but of course it doesn't. Kano wasn't going to allow it.

"You've been super quiet tonight," he says, and it makes him want to push him off his chair. How can he say that!? He literally crashed three people's dinner and acts like there's nothing wrong with it. "Do you still do music?"

The question catches him off guard, mostly because he expected him to say something like "hope I didn't barge in" or ask why he's been silent, but also because... how does he even _know_ he makes music?

"Uh," he sniffs a little, avoiding eye contact. He looks at the direction Haruka and Takane disappeared towards, hoping for them to suddenly reappear even though it's been less than thirty seconds. "Yeah, I do."

"That's good. I remember big sis being totally obsessed with your songs," Kano chuckles, and Shintaro feels his heart sink to his stomach.

He finally turns to look at him, and under the red and blue lights of the bar Kano's blond hair shined like in a movie. And for a split second, Shintaro thinks he's...

_Pretty?_

He immediately shoots his head back forward and clears his throat, shoving that thought away with an invisible mental kick. Shoved into an invisible door with invisible body guards protecting it. He shakes his head, disturbed, "Y – yeah, Ayano was... probably my biggest supporter, really."

"I could tell!" Kano answers, and Shintaro can hear his smile along his words.

It was strange how he mentioned her so casually. Not that he doesn't do it, but that's the thing– he does it, and Haruka and Takane always act like it's weird, or they ignore it, or whatever. They did talk about her once they read her letter but other than that, it was clear they preferred to cope by just not bringing her up. And that was kind of the opposite in Shintaro's case.

He just... liked thinking about her, in a way. He felt as if he did what Haruka and Takane do, it'd be like he's forgetting her. He can't allow himself to do that again. Those ten years of solitude were enough forgetting.

It'd be like forgiving himself, in a way. He feels like he owes it to her, and since she's gone, it's not like he can repay in any other way that isn't thinking about her.

He sighs.

"Do they ever talk about her?"

Shintaro freezes, "What?"

"Kokonose and Enomoto, I mean," Kano's voice sounded slightly more serious, but his honeyed tone never seemed to leave, no matter what he was talking about. "Do they ever talk about her?"

_Can he read minds?_

He shakes his head to shoo away the thought, and Kano takes it as an answer to his question, "Yeah, my siblings never talk about her either. It's like that's how they cope, you know? But I'm the opposite."

This time Shintaro can't help turning to look at him again.

There's no way Kano can read his mind. So this only meant– he understood what he felt.

"Me too," he answers in a heartbeat. "N – not thinking or talking about her makes me feel like she's being forgotten."

The other man blinks at him, as if equally surprised with the relativity, though he seemed to be in much more control of his facial expressions, "Oh, wow. That's kind of exactly what I think, too."

Shintaro can't help a smile. It's not because of Kano or anything, it's rather the feeling of– validation? Somehow, knowing someone knows exactly what it's like brought a strange but fulfilling feeling. Like _finally, so I'm not crazy._

"She–" he was about to carry on to share another thought, but of course, it's promptly interrupted by the very two people whose return Shintaro was begging for only a second ago.

"Hey, so..." Haruka begins, still holding Takane by the shoulders, but neither of them sitting down. Takane lightly moved her head and balanced her weight from one leg to the other as if she were dancing to music. "We, uh, should get going. Takane here needs some sleep."

"What if I called my mom on the phone _right now_ and told her her eyeliner is always uneven? Would that be fucked up or what?" Takane helpfully says.

"Uh," Shintaro couldn't believe he felt a small burden in the situation. It was... bothersome, that he was caught up in a conversation with _Kano_ and he felt _disappointment_ over not being able to finish it. What timeline is this? He hates it.

He looks at Haruka and Takane and then back at Kano, and he was about to just say sure when Kano offers, "I can drive you home later if you want."

"Oh, um–" Shintaro stutters, once again looking at Haruka, who seemed pretty surprised at both the offer and Shintaro's actual consideration of it. "...Sure?"

_God, what am I saying!?_

Though his agreement makes Haruka even more surprised, he doesn't do more than shrug, "Oh, alright...! I'll take care of Takane, then."

"Awww," Takane brings a hand up to poke Haruka's cheek. "Are we having a sleepover like in the good old times?"

"Maybe, we'll see," Haruka chuckled lightly as he gathered their things. He gives Shintaro and Kano another confused look, but seems to decide not to question it, "Well, see you guys."

"See you!" Kano sounded the same as always.

"See you," Shintaro sounded like he was crying for help even though he was the one to decide to stay.

And soon, Haruka and Takane are waving at them as they walk away. Shintaro looks at Kano, and Kano looks at Shintaro, and they begin talking about Ayano.

* * *

Shintaro feels his eyelids desperately trying to stay pressed together. He really didn't want to wake up, it was more of those "suddenly awake" moments in which you simply look at the time on your phone, only to see it's 8AM and turn around to go back to sleep.

Alas, when he does open his eyes to reach out for his phone, his brain is immediate to send a reaction. A reaction over the fact he is not in his room.

The sleepiness is punched out of him in a second. He sits up in a bolt prompted by a shocking chill running down his spine and an awful, awful feeling in his stomach. He wants to throw up.

He wishes he could say he feels too sleepy or confused to recognize where he was, but his thought process prided itself in being fast working. He doesn't even have a realization moment; from the moment he opens his eyes, Shintaro knew he was at Ayano's house.

Except– surprise, surprise, in case you haven't heard it enough, Ayano's dead. Which means he isn't here _for Ayano,_ and this isn't even Ayano's room. It's actually a room he's been in relatively recently, comitting a certain crime with certain people, and given the last thing he remembers is being with a certain someone at a certain bar, this only meant–

Almost robotically, Shintaro slowly turns his head around to see Kano Shuuya sleeping soundly next to him. Has he mentioned he wants to throw up?

He holds that thought and frenetically lifts up the covers, breathing out a dramatic and heavy sigh of relief when he sees they're both fully dressed. He even has his jeans still on.

Okay. Okay, good to know this isn't _entirely_ the beginning of a sitcom episode. Shintaro holds his head, massaging his temples. What did he even think he was gonna find? Of course he didn't– _of course_ they didn't– He... he would _never,_ not with a guy, he'd–

He covers his mouth, genuinely thinking he was about to throw up. Okay, wait, hold up. First things first, he has to get out of here.

Somehow, with all the moving and sighing in relief, Kano wasn't awake. He looked strange like that, just sleeping calmly; it was probably the only moment where he wasn't wearing a smirk on his face. He should have that face more often instead of the grin, it looked nice.

Shintaro looks away, feeling revolting disgust with himself for some reason.

_Why? Nothing happened. I'd never._

He slowly shifts his legs to let his feet touch the floor and rubs his face. Like that, he pauses for another second, as if to collect his thoughts, and then gets up.

Shintaro snatches his jacket poorly hung at the desk chair and slips it in. He looked around for his sneakers, but he guessed they could be at the doorway. He doesn't look back at Kano when he steps out of the room.

Walking as quietly as possible, he goes down the stairs, feeling the nausea get worse as he hears the sound of plates and utensils hitting together, hinting there's probably people awake.

Shintaro winces.

_Okay, the front door is right in front of the stairs. If they're in the dining room they'll see me walk by, just don't make eye contact. Just walk straight out. That's fine, maybe they're in the kitchen and I won't even see them–_

Kido and Seto stare at him wide eyed as he takes the last step of the stairs.

He seems to forget his own mental note as he stares back at them. They seemed to be having breakfast. He blinks, they blink, they all blink. It's a situation.

"Isn't that Momo-chan's brother?" Seto whispers at Kido, still staring at him. _Also_ still staring, she opens her mouth to answer, but Shintaro doesn't wait for it as he just sprints forward, taking his sneakers and fleeing through the door.

He's never walked barefoot in the street and he's _surely_ never put on sneakers while running, but somehow he's standing at the stairs of a train station, gasping for air with both shoes on.

What. The fuck.

When he gets home, he almost catapults himself into the couch.

He presses his faces against the cushions until he literally has to move to breathe. He felt... very strange.

Shintaro's never felt so dead inside but also so shaken at the same time. It was like all his insides were trembling. He takes his phone, looking for his texting app as fast as possible.

_[Kisaragi Shintaro, 8:23 AM] i have a problem_

He exhales a shaky and long breath. 

_Come on,_ he thinks, insisting on looking at his phone as if that made Haruka and Takane magically wake up and answer him in the group chat. _Come on, come on..._

What time did they leave on? When Haruka and Takane left it must've been around 3AM. He and Kano stayed until– shit, he can't even remember. Why did he drink? He doesn't even _like_ drinking. Judging by how restless he felt, he estimates he didn't sleep a lot which–

_I did NOT DO THAT. He is A GUY!_

_And we had ALL OUR CLOTHES ON!_

Shintaro never thought he'd be begging to the world that he's still a virgin, yet here he is.

He slaps his own head repeatedly. He's only restless because he got _drunk_ and they probably stayed until like 5AM or something and it's barely 8AM and practically didn't sleep and _why aren't Haruka and Takane answering him!?_

_[Kokonose Haruka, 8:32 AM] You're up early!_   
_[Kokonose Haruka, 8:32 AM] What's wrong?_

Oh, thank god.

Shintaro immediately makes the keyboard pop up on the screen, but at the moment his fingers approach it, he's frozen.

What do I even say?

There's no way in hell he's telling him he woke up with Kano. That's too shameful and even someone like Haruka is absolutely gonna get the wrong idea. Okay, he didn't plan this much ahead. What does he say!?

_[Kisaragi Shintaro, 8:32 AM] yeah well_   
_[Kisaragi Shintaro, 8:32 AM] the early bird gets the worm haha_

He slaps his own forehead.

_[Kokonose Haruka, 8:32 AM] Surprising coming from you, especially since you stayed even longer last night but I'm glad, I suppose!_   
_[Kokonose Haruka, 8:32 AM] However didn't you just say you have a problem?_

_[Kisaragi Shintaro, 8:32 AM] oh right uhhh_

Shintaro taps on the side of his phone, desperately trying to come up with something to say. He's not sure talking about it will be the solution, but he felt as if he was about to explode and he had to do something. He decides to compromise with that feeling and procrastinate, so he says, 

_[Kisaragi Shintaro, 8:33 AM] im ok. could we like_   
_[Kisaragi Shintaro, 8:33 AM] maybe meet up_   
_[Kisaragi Shintaro, 8:33 AM] for breakfast or something_   
_[Kisaragi Shintaro, 8:33 AM] to talk_   
_[Kisaragi Shintaro, 8:33 AM] about stuff_

_[Kokonose Haruka, 8:33 AM] Are you sure you're okay?_

_[Kisaragi Shintaro, 8:33 AM] yeah im just_

He rolls his eyes before typing,

_[Kisaragi Shintaro, 8:33 AM] depressed_   
_[Kisaragi Shintaro, 8:34 AM] and i wanna talk?? i guess??_

He feels a bit bad for playing the depression card, knowing Haruka and Takane will never question or push it on this subject, and he's kind of taking advantage of their consideration here. But _hey._ Please.

_[Kokonose Haruka, 8:34 AM] I see_   
_[Kokonose Haruka, 8:34 AM] Well, of course_   
_[Kokonose Haruka, 8:34 AM] though I doubt Takane will join us, she's out cold hahaha_

Sounded like Haruka spent the night at hers, and though the implications of that grossed Shintaro out, maybe it was better Takane didn't come. If he's really gonna talk about the event of this morning, he felt a bit more contained talking about it to Haruka rather than with Takane.

Takane would probably just point at him and say "haha gay" (she wouldn't, but Shintaro's convinced she would) and if she did that Shintaro would die on the spot and then his corpse would melt. Whereas Haruka would actually hear him out.

Maybe. Probably.

* * *

Shintaro did what any sane person would do and took a shower. Showers aren't his go-to when feeling like this, but seeing how he's never felt _exactly_ like this, a new solution should be ideal.

And who would've thought? He felt a bit more alive afterwards, even if it meant he was a bit late to meeting Haruka.

But that was at 9AM, and it's around 10AM when Haruka finally shows up at the diner, where Shintaro had been waiting for approximately fourty minutes. Even Takane seemed to wake up during that time and confirmed in the groupchat she was too hungover to show up.

So he thinks it makes sense for his first words to be, "What the fuck, man."

Haruka seemed out of breath, so he sits down rather quickly. It was odd, really. Haruka was always very punctual, "Gosh, I'm so sorry! I wanted to stop by my apartment before but apparently I lost my keys last night so I had to call a locksmith and my _landlord_ and it's just– it was not a good morning. Hello."

Shintaro nods, raising an eyebrow, "Yeah, hi. Losing your keys is... a _very_ you thing to do."

"That's mean," Haruka chuckles. "Although correct, still mean. I made a spare key this time, would it be weird to give it to Takane?"

He shrugs, "Not really? I'm sure she'll take care of it."

"Okay," Haruka nods. "Then, is it weird I bought that spare a keychain for her already?"

"Uh," he shrugs again. "A bit, but it should be fine."

"Oh, good. That's good enough."

Shintaro humours him with a chuckle as well, clearing his throat and trying to mentally prepare himself for the topic he needed to talk about.

As Haruka ranted about the yummy food on the menu, Shintaro went over it on his head, _Just tell him you woke up in Kano's bed. Be clear everyone was wearing clothes. He will agree with you nothing happened and I will have a clear mind because then I'll have a second, correct opinion which will be the only opinion because absolutely nothing happened. I just woke up there. That's all._

Yeah. Yeah. Made sense. Haruka was gonna understand! All Shintaro needed was a second opinion that agreed with his own to be completely sure and then he's gonna move on with his life and never see or even think about Kano, ever again.

After all, all he remembers is talking with him about Ayano and their individual struggles with their family and friends. It was all fun and games, nothing personal or anything. So what if they woke up together and Shintaro maybe, a couple times, thought Kano was pretty? That's obviously just a stupid instinct his head has to react at stuff before he processes it and it makes sense, like when he stares at Takane's cleavage. Yeah.

Takane sucks. He doesn't like her like that. His brain just goes "whoa! Boobs!" and gets stupid and doesn't filter this is Takane and she sucks. He guesses it was the same process this time– but he discards the idea because it's different; Takane's a girl, Shintaro likes girls so it makes sense. Kano is not a girl and his brain doesn't make sense.

_Maybe–_ oh yes, this makes much more sense– Maybe, it's because Kano's fairly girly? He's– he's short. He has shiny hair. He has a small round face with more refined features. He has long eyelashes, and–

"So, what did you want to talk about?" Haruka's voice pops his bubble of thought, and that bubble of thought leaks through his mind like acid, because Shintaro feels his brain melting off.

Shintaro immediately slams his head against the table, making his coffee to tremble and Haruka to yelp slightly.

"A – are you okay!?"

"No," Shintaro mumbles against the table, "Just end me now. I have to die."

He hears the waitress arrive with the order Haruka had apparently made while he was spacing out. She didn't seem to mind much as she simply placed the food around Shintaro's dying head and left after Haruka's brief thank you.

Haruka pushes some of his food towards him, and nervously offers, "O – okay, why don't we calm down and talk a bit, huh? E – eat a little! Maybe that'll calm you down. It always calms me down!"

Shintaro moves his head, now with his chin against the table. He looks up at his friend, "I've lost the will to live."

"Don't say that," Haruka pouts, poking his cheek with the corner of a toast. "Anything I can help with?"

"I..." lifting his head, Shintaro can only bring himself to press his palms against his eyes, as if struggling to believe he was even awake. He sighs and takes his coffee (with milk because he's a baby); just talk about it. He'll understand. He won't judge. There's nothing to judge, anyway. Shintaro just got drunk with someone who ended up being a surprising friendly person and that's it? What is there to judge! "I. I guess not. I guess I don't feel as ready to talk about it as I thought."

"Hey, that's alright," Haruka smiles, already with bread crumbs around his mouth. "No rush! Take all the time you need. If you don't want to talk about it today, we'll just enjoy food instead~"

"Y – yeah, thanks..." he attempts to crack a smile. "I appreciate it, really..."

"Anytime! That's what friends are for!"

Haruka offers another smile before shifting his entire attention to his food. Shintaro realizes just how much he ordered and, oh, jeez. Takane really isn't kidding when she says Haruka's stomach is a garbage disposal.

If it were any other moment, Shintaro'd take the offer and eat with him, but unfortunately the shower didn't help with his nausea. He still felt completely sick; as of now, all he could bear to consume is small sips of his coffee.

There was a silence, and though it didn't seem to bother Haruka while he devoured his food, it bothered Shintaro. Silence while in the presence of someone, to him never means a quiet and nice moment. Silence to Shintaro means oodles of haunting thoughts and awkwardness, which is something he never needed, _especially_ right now.

So as his mind continued to scream at him about he who must not be named, Shintaro ignores it and forces out a topic, "So, uhhh. Takane?"

His friend looks at him with a dumb face, and since he was chewing, he just goes, "Hm?"

"You, uh. Spent the night with her?"

He sees the way Haruka immediately swallows his food before finishing to chew it properly. He needs to clear his throat and drink some water, "Wh – what do you mean?"

"You _know,_ did you– did you guys–" he gestures at him as if to advance and go on, but Haruka continued to look at him like he didn't understand what he was asking. He clearly knew what Shintaro was trying to ask though; he was just playing dumb. However, Shintaro himself is dumb, and he was also too embarrassed to properly formulate the question. "Did you guys _engage?"_

He rolls his eyes at himself.

Haruka opens his mouth as if to answer, but quickly closes it again, like he was gathering his thoughts. Though he went completely red in his face, he was frowning, and that was already a strange look on him, "I– you can't be serious."

"Yeah, engage is a weird way to say sex."

"N – no, I mean..." Haruka looks away, clearly displeased. "I'm offended you'd imply I'd _ever_ take advantage of her like that. She was drunk, after all."

_Ohh, here we go._

He's gotten in this type of discussion with Haruka before, so Shintaro knows when to step back, " _Fine._ Sorry. You know what I meant! I'm just asking if there's any progress in that department, whether it was yesterday or not. It's painful to be a third wheel and not even know if you guys are sleeping together or not."

At the statement, Haruka's face softens, as if at least understanding where he was coming from.

He still seemed embarrassed though, so Shintaro takes that as answer and asks, "So _you are?_ God, I knew it–"

"Wh– _no,_ no–" Haruka forces out a laugh, emphasis on forces. He still avoids eye contact, making it clear it was an embarrassing topic for him, "We're– _well,_ this morning– no, nevermind."

"What!" Shintaro crosses his arms. "Now I wanna know."

Haruka breathes in, simply staring as he mentally tried to decide whether to talk about it or not. If Shintaro had to guess, he's not sure about it because he probably "doesn't know if Takane's okay with him talking about it" or some bullshit like that, "I'm just not sure if Takane would be okay with me talking about it...?"

_See?_

"Come on, just tell me. We're all friends," Shintaro tries again. "Especially since it seems to be troubling you, maybe you can vent it out."

That was a lie, he didn't seem troubled, but he seems to say it just right; Haruka quickly nods, "A – actually, yes! Okay, then I guess it should be fine."

Shintaro can't help smiling a little, pretty satisfied with himself and his assumption skills, despite it was complete luck he guessed. He was also happy the conversation was keeping his mind off that _other_ topic. The key to distraction is getting on other people's business!

"Well," Haruka tried to distract himself with the spoon of his coffee, stirring it slowly as he spoke. "I did stay over last night, not the way you imply it though."

The displeased tone is back for a moment, remarking he's still upset about Shintaro's unfortunate implication of how he'd dare try something with Takane while she wasn't all there. But he ignores it in order to let Haruka carry on,

"She just didn't want me to take the train and stuff! She also offered me to take her car but I ended up just staying over," he smiles. "I helped her get to bed and all, so it was nice to also make sure she was okay."

Shintaro waits, to allow him to continue, but he doesn't. "...That's it? You got all giddy over that?"

"Wh– no, I'm not done. I'm just embarrassed over the next part," he looks up, trying to think of how to word it. "You know Takane can be– really straightforward? But she's still very shy, so when she's drunk, she kind of loses that uh, control? Set back?"

Shintaro raises an eyebrow. "You and I have a really different relationship with her."

Haruka laughs a little, looking away, "Yeah, well, she kissed me..."

"Oh!" Shintaro blinks at him, and smiles. "Well, good for you! About time. So the secret all along was allow her to get super drunk?"

"I obviously stopped her!" Haruka seems to get mad (well, on his standards) again. Shintaro rolls his eyes,

"Are you kidding me?" he slumps on his seat. "You've been drooling over Takane for months now and she finally does something and you _reject_ her?"

"I did not reject her. She was drunk and didn't know what she was doing, so I stopped her out of respect for her," he explains, and Shintaro can only roll his eyes again. Haruka's very annoying with his whole "I respect women" thing. We get it, you're a good person. "I – I just... told her that if she felt the same way today I'd take her up on the offer..."

"Ah, okay. Reasonable," Shintaro nods sarcastically, only to snap out, "Except it's not. She's obviously not gonna remember. You blew your chance because of your gentleman disease."

"I am _not_ gonna assault her, Shintaro-kun. She was _drunk,_ " Haruka sighs. "And she did remember this morning."

"Oh," he nods, and _then_ understands Haruka's consequential embarrassed face, "Ohhh, nice. Then _you did_ engage!"

"No, we just kissed! How would I be able to do that and then have time for everything else I did in the morning, with losing my keys and coming here!" he laughs for what seems to be the first time in the conversation. "Clean your mind!"

Shintaro ignores the impossible request and just asks, "Then what's the problem? You got what you wanted–"

It's Haruka's turn to slam his head against the table, "I DON'T WANT TO MESS THIS UP."

"WOW! Easy there!" Shintaro's soul almost leaves his body– he's not sure he's _ever_ heard Haruka raise his voice. "Wh – what do you mean!?"

"I don't wanna mess up again. I really like her. I really want it to work out this time."

As Haruka's muffled voice whined, Shintaro nervously looked around at the other people in the diner inevitably staring in their direction. He smiles awkwardly as if to let them know it's fine, though it's most likely it only works because his smile scared them.

"I – I don't see why it wouldn't..." Shintaro tries to reason. "You heard her that one time! She went to therapy! She's not scared of commitment or whatever the hell anymore."

"You're acting like that was the only problem," Haruka lifts his head again, sighing, "I was at fault, too. I came on too strong. I absolutely scared her off, I don't wanna do it again..."

"Well, then don't," Shintaro shrugs. "Be lowkey? Surely the first fuck up is gonna help you know what _not_ to do. Just... let her take the lead."

"Yeah... but it's not that easy," clutched over, Haruka sinks his hands into his hair, holding his head like it was about to fall off, "She kissed me approximately two hours ago and I am already making an inhumane effort to not go to a jewelry store to buy her an engagement ring."

For such a chill person, he's being very not chill right now. Then again, Shintaro doesn't know how he's surprised. When it comes to Takane, Haruka's the biggest dumbass alive, which said a lot, because he's a dumbass even without her assistance.

It's always been like this. Haruka's someone who's very hard to read– despite wearing a smile on his face all the time, he's not the kind of person to wear his emotions on his sleeve. Ever since highschool he's always just been this entity who smiles at you and shows you cat videos, nothing else and nothing more. But when Takane's on the picture? Oh, _god._ Cover your eyes because the second hand embarrassment will be real.

He's a mess with her. He blushes, he stutters, he stares. Somehow, Takane makes a grown ass adult who's like 6 ft tall melt into a puddle in her presence.

Not gonna lie, Shintaro feels a bit sorry for Haruka, even though Haruka's problem seemed to lay on himself rather than on her. 

And somehow, for some reason, Shintaro just stares at him.

Haruka has his eyes closed and was resting his head on his hands. Shintaro _tries_ to search in his mind what he thinks of it; that is, Haruka's face. Haruka's a guy, too. If Shintaro's brain was so quick to say Kano's stupid face was pretty, then why did it never occur with Haruka?

Haruka is good looking; despite that, Shintaro's brain had no interest in saying "oh, he's a very pretty guy." What about Takane? Takane is... pretty, he guesses. When she shuts her mouth.

At the realization of these stupid thoughts, Shintaro slaps his forehead, obviously catching the other man off guard.

"A – are you okay?" Haruka asks, lifting his head. "Why are you hitting yourself?"

"Have you ever been out of control of your own fucking brain?" Shintaro asks, tightly pressing his palms against his eyes. He hears him hum in confusion. "I feel like I don't even know myself anymore."

Haruka watched him with a worried expression. One of those worried expressions that make you feel self conscious over yourself and everything you were saying. Shintaro sighs, trying to come up with something to fix it, but Haruka's faster, "Did something happen with Kano?"

Shintaro genuinely feels as if someone hooked a straw in his lungs and started sucking out all the oxygen from them.

"Wh – what?" he feels himself start sweating cold. "Wh – why do you ask that? What do you think happened? _Why_ would something happen?"

Obviously realizing the shift in his behaviour, Haruka blinks at him in surprise, as if he wasn't really expecting to have the suspicion confirmed, let alone like that, "It's just that... it was strange of you to want to stay longer last night to be with him? And today you were up very early, and said you had a problem, and just... over all, you're acting a bit off–"

"I'm not acting off," Shintaro scoffs. "I – I'm up early because I need to start getting used to that because I'm starting work tomorrow. Yeah. And I only agreed to stay with Kano to give you and Takane a chance to be alone... yeah, yeah. That's what happened. Why would anything else be the problem? Why would something happen? Please."

"Uh..." if Haruka wasn't worried before (he was), he absolutely is now. Shintaro just continued to laugh nervously. "A – are you sure? I just can't help but think that–"

"Would you look at the time!" Shintaro dashes up, nearly knocking over the chair he was sitting on. "It sure is getting late. I gotta get home to wash my clothes and sweep the floor. You know, grown up things, you get it. It's sunday, God's day. I have to pay homage. I will go to church."

" _What._ "

"See you later!"

Shintaro doesn't look back at him as he belts along the diner. He begins running when he's outside.

* * *

He can't believe he's actually forgotten how much mondays suck.

Of course he still knew, and he anticipated how much it was gonna suck, but _oh man._ All these years in which he's been out of practice of waking up early and going to a place _to do stuff_ did not bring any good. Getting on the work rhythm was gonna be worse than he thought.

Shintaro sighs as he stacks soup cans in the shelves. Can't believe his sister, Haruka and Takane were all so hyped up over him doing this bullshit. He was so busy being proud of himself due all the congratulations that he forgot the actual burden of the job.

_Just another hour. You've gone through the entire day already. Just a little more and you'll be back home._

This sucks.

"Excuse me," an elderly voice rings from behind him, so Shintaro mentally curses before turning around for a dreadful interaction. An old lady smiles at him a toothless smile, "Do you know where the rice is?"

He pauses for a second, trying to decide if she was serious or not, "Uh. Right behind you, ma'am."

He doesn't even try to smile; earlier in the morning he tried to after a woman made a similar question, and her daughter got scared and started crying. Customer service is already a difficult job, but when you have a face and awkwardness like his, it's double the task.

Luckily the lady doesn't take offense to the lack of smile, and instead turns around and awes at the rice shelves, "Oh, my. Thank you."

She continued to ramble to herself about "how she would lose her head if it wasn't attached" and more things of the like, but Shintaro decided to ignore her and continue stacking the cans.

He laughs to himself, _I hate this._

Well, at least during his first day he just has to take care of re-stocking stuff. However he's _not_ looking forward to taking care of the cash register. He's not bad counting money and learning how to use machines, quite the contrary actually (obviously) but just having to interact with all those people one after another sends a chill down his body and makes his stomach stir.

"Excuse me, sir!" there's another voice, but this time, it makes the room start spinning. For a second, Shintaro thinks he's hallucinating. He even closes his eyes and asks himself if he heard correctly. "Hellooo, sir?"

He starts turning around slowly, like he's in a horror movie, and as Kano's face appeared in his line of vision Shintaro felt all his organs shattering and falling at his feet. His jaw drops open.

He just stares at him, which only made the other guy laugh, "You look like you've seen a ghost, Shintaro-kun."

"What are you doing here?" is all he can ask, his eyes falling down to his shirt to see he was matching with him. Thing is, Shintaro's wearing–

Well, a uniform.

He doesn't know how he manages to not pass out right there.

"Well, isn't this the _smallest_ world!" Kano says, because apparently that's the only line he knows how to say. Shintaro feels his face heat up in impotence,

"You've _got_ to be kidding me," he had been crouching to pick up the cans, so he stands up and quickly remembers how short Kano is. "We _cannot_ be a co-workers. Aren't you a comedian!?"

"That's just a gig I do sometimes," he laughs. "I don't make a living out of it. Yet, anyway."

All Shintaro can do is look at him, completely baffled. This could not be happening. There's no way the world hates him this much.

He's never been religious, but this only confirms that God exists and he hates him. Is he being punished? The answer is simply yes, there's just no other explanation.

So with no more words, Shintaro turns around back to his cans and continues stacking them.

Because what else is he supposed to do? He's not going to stand here and watch Kano expecting him to vanish. He can't wait to wake up and reveal the entire weekend and morning had been a dream all along.

But this was real, and it's happening. His shift was going to be over in like an hour, anyway. If he's lucky, maybe Kano won't have the same shifts as him and they'll barely see each other, let alone interact with him.

"So this is where your new job is, huh," unfortunately, Kano tries to strike up a conversation. Shintaro sees a small hand putting a can in the shelf, and bolts to see Kano has crouched down with him to help.

"Excuse me," Shintaro squints his eyes. "Don't you have somewhere else to be?"

"Wow there!" he laughed. Of course he did. "Why so harsh? Thought we were friends."

"You thought wrong."

"Whaaat, I totally thought we hit it off, especially after our sleepover and all!"

Shintaro feels his eye twitch, "Th... that's–"

"Don't worry, I was joking," Kano chuckles, but then his expression softens. That didn't mean his smirk was gone, it never was, but his voice sounded... more honest? "But I _am_ surprised. I was happy to see you here, I really thought we were getting along?"

At the sound of his tone, Shintaro can feel his body relax, somewhat. He feels his eyebrows tilt upwards, as if suddenly sympathizing with him. That didn't mean his mind was any less tense, but at least he's not getting a second thought.

After all... what has Kano done to him to make him reject him this way? It wasn't his fault he woke up with him. And again, _nothing happened,_ he apparently only offered a place to crash in the night. And it was true they had gotten along after Haruka and Takane left.

Sure, it was through an unconventional common thing (a dead loved one), but _it was_ true Shintaro was being unfair and confusing in Kano's eyes. From his perspective, he "made friends" or whatever with someone, and the next time he sees him this person is being completely cold.

Really, he knows nothing about Kano. He seemed to be one of those people who are really quiet and reserved about themselves, but seem to know everything about everyone else. All in all he seemed exactly like the kind of person you shouldn't trust a secret to. 

And, pfff, it wasn't like Shintaro was thinking about him nonstop or anything either. It wasn't like he was dreading to know more about him to find out what he really thinks of him. It's not like he's completely split over how he feels about his existence. It's not like he's strangely drawn to him for some weird reason. That'd give the guy too much power! He's not on an ongoing crisis about what might or might not have happened on saturday night, not at all! Why would he?

So, with all these thoughts collected, Shintaro shakes his head at himself, "Y – yeah, sorry. I'm just... stressed, I suppose."

"Hey, that's alright," Kano playfully punches his arm, a lot like Takane does. Except his didn't hurt like hers do. "First day of work can be super stressful. If there's anything you need just hit me up and I'll do my best to help."

Shintaro weakly offers him a smile back, which didn't make Kano grimace or anything like people usually do when he smiles. It made his stomach feel jittery.

And with that, he does the next logical thing and takes his phone to type on his group chat with Haruka and Takane.

_[Kisaragi Shintaro, 4:08 PM] can we PLEASE see each other today i wanna die and i need distraction_

That should do it.

"So," Kano didn't seem to give up on a conversation; he's _a really_ talkative person for someone so private. "How's Enomoto?"

"Takane?" Shintaro raises an eyebrow. "She's fine I guess, why?"

"Well, she seemed hammered the other night," he laughs, starting to hand him the cans so the two of them don't have to be crouched down. "I'm just asking to know if she's okay."

"I guess that makes sense..." he sighs. "Obviously she was hung over the next day, but other than that she was okay I guess. Haruka took care of her."

"I see. Maybe we should've let her phone her mom, though. That would've been hilarious _and_ it would've been a huge help for her since she seems to hate that job," Kano nods to his own idea. He follows up an imitation of her voice, " _'This job fucking sucks. I'll give mom a piece of my mind. Oh, wait, I gotta take this call. Yes, mother? Right away, mother. Anything for you, mother.'"_

Shintaro almost drops a can, not even processing what he said, "J – jesus christ? How did you do that? You sounded exactly like her."

"Well, that was practically how she acted, right!"

"I don't mean what you said, I meant your _voice,_ " at this point he's not even stocking cans anymore. "What the fuck?"

"Oh, yeah! My voice impressions? Big talent of mine! My specialty are my siblings' though. Can't tell you how many times I've pranked Momo-chan by picking up the phone and pretending to be Tsubomi," Kano puffs up his chest proudly. "I'll do Haruka's, too. _'This videogame you love but I've never heard of? Of course I love it too, Takane. Be my wife.'"_

Shintaro immediately explodes with laughter that's mostly filled with nonplussed surprise over how down he had Haruka's feelings after seeing him just once. It was almost as if he had known them since highschool. 

"I can do yours, too. _'Ayano–'"_

"Okay, that's enough."

He quickly grabs his phone again to see if Haruka and Takane had replied,

_[Enomoto Takane, 4:10 PM] sorry man i work late today. maybe tomorrow?_   
_[Enomoto Takane, 4:10 PM] how's work going btw_

_[Kokonose Haruka, 4:13 PM] Me too :( busy day at the museum... But I am free tomorrow! If you need distraction right now though I can send cat pics if you want_

Shintaro looks into the invisible camera as the chat started filling up with images of kittens. Great.

He sighs, and when he turns to look at Kano again, he finds the blond leaning over his shoulder, looking at his phone. Shintaro jumps, "GAH!"

"Whatcha need distraction for?" he asks. Confused, Shintaro simply looks at him until he realizes he must've read the texts. He looks at his screen and then back at Kano, pressing his phone protectively against his chest,

"Excuse you," scoffing, Shintaro puts the phone back in his pocket and grabs the empty box where the cans used to be. He begins walking away to the deposit. "Hasn't anyone told you that's bad manners?"

"Yep!" much to his displeasure, Kano follows by. "So? What do you need distraction from?"

Shintaro opens his mouth to answer, but quickly realizes he doesn't even know what to say. _What do I need distraction from?_

He sees Kano hopping next to him, and he clicks his tongue. No, no, no. Not from Kano. He's not that important. Kano isn't important enough to make Shintaro need distraction from him. He needs distraction in general.

He groans out, "Nothing. Whatever."

"If you need distraction I am free after work!" he suggests, and _again,_ Shintaro feels the entire world stop. "I needed to get some stuff back from my old apartment, maybe you can help me. It'd be easier with two people. Unleeeeess... the thing _or person_ you need distraction from is who I think it is?"

Shintaro kicks the deposit door open, the implication filling him with immediate rage. He dashes inside and throws the empty box with the rest, and as soon as the door closes behind them, Shintaro turns around to tower over him, "What are you implying?!"

Kano, obviously taken back, nervously smiles back at him, "...That you need distraction from thinking about my sister?"

His face immediately softens, taking a step back, "O – oh. Right. Uh, that makes sense."

He rubs the back of his neck in embarrassment.

_Get a hold of yourself, you idiot._

"I just thought maybe you're having one of those days where you can't stop thinking about her. God knows I have those," Kano chuckles, completely shrugging off the weirdness of the scene from seconds ago. "And with a new job and a new routine and all, maybe you were going through that today. Sorry for assuming things, I didn't mean to upset you."

Everything Kano says simply continues to prove Shintaro wrong about him being a bad person. Is Haruka _sure_ this guy scammed him? Maybe there's another explanation. He seems... well, nice. Odd for sure, but still nice.

"No, it's– yeah, it's Ayano," Shintaro lies. "Sorry for jumping at you like that. Wasn't cool."

"It's okay!" he smiles. "I can get bitter and stuff sometimes too. I get it."

It was like Kano simply... understood almost everything Shintaro went through. It was something they talked about the other night, too. Being stuck in the past? Check. Feeling envy of their loved ones who are able to move on with a normal life while they seem to be stuck behind? Check check. Both being terrible when mad and then regretting the things they said? Check check check.

So, with a strange peace of mind that was mostly just completely exhausted, Shintaro says, "You know what? Sure, I'll help you after work. Whatever."

"Oh, great! Thank you so much!" Kano makes a toothy grin Shintaro absolutely didn't think it was cute. Normal, just normal. Nothing to think.

Shintaro gets out, already dressed in his normal clothes and with his bag over his shoulder, and at the sight of Kano in front of a pick up truck he can only wonder what he's gotten himself into.

"What," he begins, as soon as he's close enough. "In the world."

"Oh, this?" Kano pats the enourmous vehicle with a proud smile. "It's Kousuke's. He lets me borrow it sometimes. Come on, hop in!"

Okay, that made more sense. From what he remembers, Seto's a pretty big guy. And with that, Kano _literally_ hops in. He's already a pretty small guy, but next to such a massive car he looked even smaller, so of course he had to practically jump at it.

Shintaro can only sigh before circling around to get on the other side. Luckily he's not that short, so he feels pretty good about himself when he's able to climb in normally.

"So where are we going...?"

"My old apartment! Put on your seatbelt, please," Kano answers, starting the car. Shintaro wonders how his legs even manage to reach the pedals, then realizes Kano has an average height at most and he's just picking on him by now. He simply obeys and straps on the seat belt. "You know how we moved back to my parents house? Well, I still have my old place basically intact since I didn't have to move furniture or anything, and I'd like to declutter a little bit."

"Ah, I guess that makes sense..." 

"Don't worry though, I'm not gonna make you move a couch or anything. I think your noodle arms are worse than mine."

"Shut up," he says, and Kano laughs. Shintaro makes his best effort not to smile.

"So," Kano continues, apparently not wanting to settle with a silence. He's really against those, isn't it? Or maybe he just can't shut up to save his life. "How was your first day?"

"It was okay, I guess," Shintaro sighs. "Customer service wouldn't be my first choice, though. I'm not good with people. It makes me anxious."

_...Why am I oversharing?!_

"I see. That sucks," he answers him, sounding genuinely empathetic. "Hope you can work it out. You can vent to me if you need it, though."

"Th– that's fine. Thanks though."

They travel in silence, and for some reason, he doesn't feel like it's dreadful. Silences are more opportunities for Shintaro to mentally dwell over his own awkwardness and possible fuck up of the situation, but now it was... comfortable? Somehow?

He doesn't want to use that word, but he guesses it's the closest one to describe it. It's not _uncomfortable,_ let's say. He keeps looking out the window, sighing, wondering what this means for his life.

He's got a job, he's gotten his friends back, he's also gotten some sort of an actual relationship with his sister now– and maybe even made a new friend?

Stealing a glance of Kano, he wonders what all of this even is. Shintaro has not made friends since highschool, and even that ended up blowing up in his face. Of course he's glad they're back in his life, but it still meant he was very out of practice in the social department. Making a new friend didn't sound entirely bad, really, even if it was Kano Shuuya.

After all, Haruka and Takane are starting some sort of romance together, aren't they? Inevitably, Shintaro's gonna start being left out. He's been a third wheel since the beginning, and eventually it's just going to be awkward, and having someone else to hang around might not be the worst. And you know what? Kano's not half as bad as he thought.

"Hey, uh," Shintaro begins, and immediately feels his stomach twisting inside of him. Why is talking making him actually nervous instead of silence? _Why am I such a mess?_ "So, Haruka... Haruka told me and Takane that you commissioned him last year, and, uh–"

He sees the way Kano's grip of the steering wheel tightens. Shintaro pauses for a second, looking at him as if waiting for a sign of interruption, but it doesn't come. So he just clears his throat and carries on,

" _And,_ well, he says you didn't pay him," he drops. "I just... wanted to ask you what's up with that."

_Because you seem like a genuinely good guy and if it weren't for that fact I wouldn't be half as freaked out over finding you friendly._

Shintaro shakes that thought away, simply waiting for an answer.

Oddly, it doesn't arrive quickly, hinting that Kano needed a second to think it over. He sighs, and Shintaro recognizes an air of sadness through it. Kano wasn't smiling anymore.

"I... do many things I end up regretting," he starts. "Do you ever feel like you're possessed by your worst you?"

Shintaro stares at him, slightly taken back. That was such an specific feeling, but it still was– "Yeah, I do."

_Relatable to me?_

Kano shoots him a smile before focusing back on the road, "Well, I feel like that a lot. Sometimes I do stuff and it seems like a good idea at the moment but then I just look back to it and wonder what the hell I was thinking, you know! Like when I get mad and say things I shouldn't say or something."

"Yeah," Shintaro nods along his words. "Yeah, I get that."

"I intend talking to him, _and_ paying him back," Kano says. "I'm just... embarrassed, I guess."

And he laughs.

Wow.

Embarrassed.

Shintaro couldn't believe Kano's capable of stuff like embarrassment. Until now he's just perceived him as this mysterious unfeeling asshole when in reality he could be as vulnerable as anyone else. Until now, Kano has never seemed human to him. Shintaro's never met a more enigmatic person, but right now, he guesses he understands him a little better.

"Okay, we're here!"

Kano's voice immediately shifted to his usual tone, just as he feels the car pulling over. Shintaro doesn't answer, and instead digs his bitten nails into the thighs of his jeans, focusing his eyes on the car's floor mats, where his backpack laid.

He hears the other man's seat belt coming off, and he tightly shuts his eyes, trying to gather the courage to speak up.

"Shintaro-kun?" Kano's slightly _worried_ voice calls out to him. He still sounded as playful as ever, but somehow he managed to mix that into every feeling he had. "You okay?"

"You know," Shintaro begins, feeling completely frozen in place. "I think I had you all wrong."

He hazards to turn around to look at him, his eyes meeting with Kano's nonplussed face. He blinked at him, as if waiting for him to go on,

"I – I–" he mentally cursed himself for stuttering so much, not being able to remember the last time he was this nervous. Maybe when he was waiting to meet again with Haruka and Takane for the first time in all those years, but even then it was different. Kano is just different. "I just... I thought you were a bad person, and I was mad at myself for remotely enjoying being with you after what you did to Haruka. But I think... I mean, I think I understand why you do the things you do. I do stuff like that, too, sometimes."

There's a pause, and Shintaro isn't sure if he's done talking or not but Kano speaks before he could figure that out, "I enjoy being with you, too."

Shintaro _literally_ feels his heart in his throat. His face heats up. He's probably sweating. He identifies this feeling as blushing. He wants to throw up.

Why is he blushing?

Why is he so nervous?

Why is he embarrassed?

It's such a familiar feeling.

Ayano's face appears in his mind as a flash, his mind offering her as an answer to the question of familiarity. But Shintaro practically feels like crying; Kano's a _guy._ There's just absolutely no way this is happening. There's absolutely no way he–

There's absolutely no way he... he what?

He can't even say it. He can't consider it. It's out of the question. There is no way, period. Kano's looking at him, blinking slowly with his relaxed eyes, as if he could read his mind and he was patiently waiting for him to step off the denial. But there's nothing to figure out, it just can't be. Shintaro absolutely refuses it. He doesn't want it.

Which is why he's still frozen in place as Kano leans in, and he's got an idea of what might happen next but in all honesty he's just not computing right now. He breathes in and holds it, tightly closing his eyes, but nothing happens even after seconds go by.

He turns his head and opens his eyes, confused, only to find Kano's face inches away from his own, where he had leaned in and stopped. He was just staring, and didn't back away, and despite Shintaro's mental screams, he doesn't back away either. Instead, he feels his own face making a frightened expression. 

So Kano leans in again before pausing _again,_ as if silently making sure it was okay, as if waiting for Shintaro to step back. And he wants to, he absolutely wants to step back, because he has to. Because Kano's a guy and this makes no fucking sense, but he doesn't step back, not even when he finally presses his lips against his.

He was as tense as a rock, but suddenly, it all releases in one second. Suddenly, he could feel his legs again. And at the same time, Shintaro's never felt more out of his own body, like he's just a spectator now. 

But he's not, he's not at all. He's in it, and it was happening, and he was allowing it. He felt his companion's small hand cupping his cheek, in such a gentle way he's once again surprised by Kano's hidden kindness and tenderness. 

It felt like it was a hundred degrees inside the car. He's never, ever in his life kissed anyone before, so his head continued to spin around the fact he did not know what he was doing, he could not believe anyone would ever want to do this with him, and he did not want to believe that person is a guy, and that guy is Kano of all guys, and that, he can't stress this enough, _he's allowing it._

Kano breaks apart, pulling away in small pauses as he smiled at him with that stupid smirk of his. Shintaro's eye twitched as he watched that shit-eating grin.

"Okay," Kano says, as if he was saying "now that that's out of the way", "Let's get going, shall we?"

He opens the door and jumps off the car, and Shintaro breathes out a raspy sigh.

Undoing his seat belt, Shintaro weakly throws his hand at the door handle to open the door. His legs feel like jelly when he tries to step out, and suddenly the car door was too heavy to be closed. He has to open it and close it again to make sure it was properly shut.

Shoving his hands into his pockets, he notes he forgot his backpack inside the car, but decided it was best to leave it there for now. The car beeps once Kano locks it, and Shintaro forces himself to ignore his dizziness and circle the truck to join him on the other side.

Kano shoots him another one of his smiles, and he feels like he's about to melt into a puddle out of shame. What has he done?

Did he just hallucinate? That was the only explanation. Though it really wasn't, because if it were a hallucination, why the fuck would he hallucinate that out of all things?

Somehow, he's still walking next to Kano, crossing the street with him towards a nicely lighted building. Shintaro started sweating cold as they got inside the elevator.

Because, wait, what the fuck? Why is he going to this guy's apartment, alone?! Wait, what was gonna happen?! Wait, what has he gotten himself into?!

Chill, chill, chill, chill, chill.

He tries to calm himself down as silently as possible, not wanting to alert Kano he was nervous in any way. If... if Kano tried anything like that again, Shintaro's just gonna say no, thank you. Because really, no, thank you. He's flattered but likes girls, thank you.

Kano already has his keys out when they step out of the elevator, and Shintaro raises an eyebrow at his keychain, momentarily forgetting his panic, "Yoshi?"

He looks down at the keys, "What's wrong with Yoshi?"

"Nothing," he shrugs, "You just... didn't seem like a Yoshi kind of guy."

"What's a Yoshi kind of guy, exactly?"

"I don't know. Haruka?"

Kano snorts, turning the keys on the door and pushing it open. Shintaro steps in after him.

"Don't take your shoes off, we'll be out in a second," Kano says, which... weirds him out a little bit, but he complies. Okay, so _nothing_ was gonna happen then. Shintaro pushes away the urge to slap himself at the smallest feeling of disappointment.

He closes the door behind him, and just stands there as Kano turns on the lights and starts to walk around the entire apartment, clearly looking for something specific.

As he did that, Shintaro just scanned the place with his eyes.

It was very, very neat. Almost out of a catalog. It didn't have the same vibes as Kano's bedroom back at the Tateyama residence, or, well, his current home or whatever. It was different. It also smelled... familiar? But he guesses that's because he's been in Kano's room. Maybe.

It was pretty small, too. There was just one room and two doors, both of which were open and seemed to be the bathroom and bedroom. The kitchen was just divided by a bar. Despite that, it was still pretty nice, and it was well kept and clean. There were nice paintings on the walls, too, and even clean dishes in the drying rack at the sink, as if Kano left everything the way it was and bolted back home at the first opportunity.

Shintaro sighs, deciding he was done snooping around, since it only made him more jittery, "What are you looking for, anyway?"

"A painting."

He feels his heart drop to his stomach, "A– a, a painting?"

"Yeah," Kano comes out of the bedroom. "The one I commissioned to Kokonose, actually. I would've swore I took it home when I moved, but I can't find it anywhere, so I thought maybe it was here. But I can't find it?"

Shintaro swallows a little, his brain hurting with the image of that painting covered with a table cloth in a corner of the living room of _his_ apartment. Oh, god. He can't just tell Kano what happened, he just can't. It's not an option.

Kano hums in confusion and ventures back to the bedroom, and clearing his throat, Shintaro follows him in.

The bedroom is even smaller, and pressed against a corner there was the bed. It was merely a small twin sized bed barely bigger than for one person, as opposed to Kano's gigantic bed back at his home. Shintaro assumes maybe it used to be his parents and he called dibs on it when he moved there? Who knows.

There was a TV with a gaming console, and again, Shintaro raises an eyebrow. Weird. Kano likes videogames? That's really cool, maybe they could play together sometime–

He pushes that embarrassing thought away. He just stands there as Kano continues exploring, looking behind the closet, the curtains, under the bed, everything. But of course, the painting was nowhere to be seen.

"It's so weird," Kano says, still kneeling on the floor from checking under the bed. "It has to be here."

Suddenly, the sound of keys turning in the door could be heard. Shintaro looks back, confused, and when he turns back to Kano to question who it is he sees him crawling under the bed. Shintaro panics.

_A BURGLAR?_ his stupid mind immediately says, for some fucking reason. He saw Kano's hand peeking from under the bed gesturing to him to hide with him, so he quickly obeys, because really, what the fuck is he supposed to do?!

As he did his best to be hidden under the bed, Shintaro wondered why on earth would a burglar enter a house with keys, but hey. He's not here to question a criminal's way of doing things.

Here, he has flashbacks of hiding under Kano's own bed with Haruka and Takane just a few months before when they fucking stole the painting Kano was trying to retrieve this very moment. What's with him and hiding under Kano's beds, seriously?

This one was smaller, but the fact they were two people instead of three helped a little. It still meant they had to be really pressed together, though, which despite the situation made Shintaro's dumb brain break a little more. Kano smells nice.

STOP.

Back to the person opening the door! They hadn't locked the door, so the person found themselves locking it by accident before being able to actually open it. A sigh is heard when the person finally comes in.

Oh man, are they gonna die? Are they gonna die.

"Did you leave the door open, dumbass?"

"I – I swear I closed it this morning? That's so weird..."

"First you lose your keys and then you just leave the door open the entire day, seriously, Haruka! And all the lights are on, too! Jeez..."

At the sound of Haruka and Takane's voices, Shintaro feels himself get white as a ghost. Bewildered, he turns to look at Kano next to him, and he's just smiling sheepishly at him as if silently saying "oops! Busted!"

He was completely frozen in place, completely tuning out Haruka and Takane's voices in the same apartment. He looked up at the bed grill as he slowly put the pieces together.

Haruka lost his keys at the bar, where Kano was. The apartment seems to be clearly habitated, the gaming console, the paintings, the smell, the fucking Yoshi keychain, the... the painting.

_This is Haruka's apartment. We are hiding under Haruka's bed._

Shintaro looks at Kano again, in complete shock. How did he know Haruka could have the painting? Does he know they went to his house?

Kano's just on his phone, but immediately puts the screen on his face to show him he has turned the brightness to the lowest as well as silenced it without vibrations, clearly gesturing him to do the same with his. Shintaro takes his phone out of his pocket with trembling fingers and reluctantly complies.

Why isn't he just getting out here? Well, that's a good question. He's wondering it too. But listen; he's completely frozen in place, basically a statue against the floor. He just kissed a man. He's just been tricked into breaking into his best friend's house... by the same man. And also–

Haruka and Takane lied to him about working late in order to hang out without him. The realization is just the cherry on top to make Shintaro's tornado of thoughts crash into pieces, unable to have any critical thinking, which is why he stays in place.

Still holding his phone against his face, he sees a notification pop up.

_[Unknown number, 5:23 PM] oops lol_

He looks at Kano, and sees on his screen he had just sent that text to him. How does he even have his number!? You know what, nevermind. He's not even gonna put him in his contacts.

_[Unknown number, 5:23 PM] awe wou mad at mew uwu_

_[Kisaragi Shintaro, 5:23 PM] i dont want to talk to you_

_[Unknown number, 5:23 PM] i wasnt expecting him to come back!!!_   
_[Unknown number, 5:23 PM] let alone with enomoto lmaooo_   
_[Unknown number, 5:23 PM] since they told you they were working late and all_   
_[Unknown number, 5:23 PM] that shit hurted. lying is bad_

Shintaro types back furiously. It was ridiculous, them writing to each other while they were pressed together under a bed, but he didn't care right now.

_[Kisaragi Shintaro, 5:23 PM] LIKE THAT MAKES IT OKAY???? ARE YOU EVEN HEARING YOURSELF???_   
_[Kisaragi Shintaro, 5:23 PM] "lying is bad" rich coming from you you fucking asshole_   
_[Kisaragi Shintaro, 5:24 PM] "your old apartment"??????????????? your old apartment my ass do you even realize the fucking situation you put us in??? we just broke into harukas fucking apartment_

_[Unknown number, 5:24 PM] jeez it was a good hearted white lie!!! i didnt want to put us in this situation i just wanted my painting back_   
_[Unknown number, 5:24 PM] and dont act so innocent either lol its not your first break in and we both know it_

He feels his throat tightening.

_[Kisaragi Shintaro, 5:24 PM] how did you know that?_

_[Unknown number, 5:24 PM] theres security cameras dummy :*_

Oh, god.

_[Kisaragi Shintaro, 5:24 PM] you know what i honestly dont even regret it you had it fucking coming for SCAMMING HIM_   
_[Kisaragi Shintaro, 5:24 PM] youre lucky takane didn't knock your front teeth out_

_[Unknown number, 5:24 PM] DAMN graphic much!!!!!!_   
_[Unknown number, 5:25 PM] listen my plan was to come here, take my painting, AND leave the money i owe him plus ~☆ﾟ*･｡*･a tip･*｡*･☆~_   
_[Unknown number, 5:24 PM] i really do regret what i did to him!_

_[Kisaragi Shintaro, 5:25 PM] fuck off_

_[Unknown number, 5:25 PM] seriously, i wasnt lying about anything else. just that this was my apartment and stuff_   
_[Unknown number, 5:24 PM] i just wanted to mess with you i guess_   
_[Unknown number, 5:24 PM] oh and also about being your co worker i was just wearing a random green shirt it baffles me you fell for it but its ok i still like you_

He breathes in.

Shintaro just... didn't even know what to think or feel anymore. His entire will to live was thrown out the window already, he felt... so, so stupid. So stupid for thinking Kano was different, so stupid for falling for it all, only because of the stupid idea of making a new friend he had so much in common with.

He could honestly pass out any moment now, but not even out of nervousness. It was more of a "good night. I need some rest."

But he doesn't, and instead he refuses to look back at his phone, pushing back the tears in his eyes. This is so stupid. He's so stupid.

He feels... so betrayed. Suddenly, he's back to zero, and knows nothing about Kano.

One thing is for sure, though: Kano is a stelar liar.

He jumps a little when he sees two pairs of feet next to him, and he instinctively covers his mouth when he realizes Haruka and Takane must be sitting on the bed. The bed he and Kano are hiding under. Yeah.

They had been talking the entire time, but Shintaro doesn't start paying attention to it until now– because he hears his name.

"He just worries me so much sometimes," Takane was saying, and she sounded so melancholic it made Shintaro want to poke his eyes out, despite he wasn't even looking at her. "And what did he say?"

"Nothing, really. But I told him it's okay if he needs more time to think it over," Haruka answered. Shintaro realizes with an inane feeling of embarrassment they must be talking about yesterday, when he met up with him at the diner. "Then he suddenly just... ran off."

"What do you mean he ran off?" Takane asks. "Like, just got up and left?"

"Pretty much. Sounded like he was panicking, claiming he was going to church or something?"

Both chuckle, and Shintaro runs a hand through his face in stead of face palming. Kano sent him another text, 

_[Unknown number, 5:27 PM] LMAOOOOO † SHINTARO-KUN HAS BECOME CATHOLIC †_

He just ignores it.

"But I don't get it... did you say anything to trigger him or something?"

"I – I don't think so... at least I hope I didn't," Haruka sighed, sounding guilty, which made Shintaro feel guilty himself for making him feel responsible. "We weren't even talking about anything like that when he left, though. We were just talking about– uhhh– nevermind, actually, hahaha..."

"What!" Shintaro sees Takane's feet turn more to Haruka's direction, pointing she moved on her exclamation. "Now you're being secretive? I see how it is."

Haruka chuckled nervously again, and cleared his throat, "It's... I was just... I was just, um, telling him about you and me."

And again, he sees her feet move to their other position, pointing she was facing forward now, "Oh..."

"I mean..." sounding unsure, Haruka spoke with a low voice. "If... there _is_ a you and me."

_Jesus. I don't wanna hear this shit._

Shintaro sees he got another text message, but he doesn't want to see it. He hears Takane hum, and she also sounded unsure, "I think there is."

He rolls his eyes and looks at his phone,

_[Unknown number, 5:28 PM] this is so cringe im gonna cry_

The amount of _effort_ he has to make to not burst into laughter is insane. It's also infuriating, because he's still angry at Kano and he sucks and he does not want to humour him and laugh at the things he says. But it's difficult.

Of course it was giving him second hand embarrassment too, but really, Haruka and Takane think they're _alone._ They should be able to be embarrassing if they want to. That doesn't change that Shintaro feels the same as Kano, though, and it is indeed very cringe and he also wants to cry.

"I feel kind of guilty over lying to Shintaro," Takane suddenly says, and Shintaro feels a knot in his throat again. "Especially since he needed distraction over something. But I – I just... really wanted to see you, I guess."

"Me too," Haruka answers a little too quickly. "I can't stop thinking about you."

Shintaro's not an expert in relationships either, but _please,_ be more lowkey. If he was dumber he'd text him right now to chill out. However, Takane giggles, as if she found it endearing, "I... think a lot about you, too. Like back then. Except back then it used to frighten me."

"And now?"

"And now..." she paused, but Shintaro could hear the smile along her words. He realizes by seeing her feet she's scooping closer to him. "And now it doesn't."

Oh, please, having to be here for this is such a punishment. Shintaro reviews his life in his head, trying to think of what he has done that was so terrible it needed this much punishment.

Sure, he's always been far, far from perfect. And he's always going to have to live with his biggest regret of having been terrible to someone who is not here anymore, and hence he can't apologize to. But all of this? Does he really deserve all of this, meeting Kano included?

It seemed like too much.

He sighs as quietly as he can, realizing Haruka and Takane aren't talking anymore. They were still there, though. He looks at Kano, and he looks back at him, both wondering to each other if they're semi-witnessing an awkward silence or not.

But then he hears a kissing sound and Shintaro loses his cool. He looks back out, and doesn't see their feet anymore, but the mattress on top of them sank a little more, confirming they had climbed on. He sees Kano's eyes widen as well, also realizing what this could meant.

He can't help a gasp out of nervousness, and he immediately covers his mouth. Kano nudges him softly, as if saying _"what's wrong with you?"_

It's _okay,_ they're too busy to pay attention to something like that– is what he was telling himself, before he heard that disgusting wet sound kissing does when you break apart, "Did you hear something?"

Takane was asking it. Shintaro wanted to knock himself unconscious.

"No, what?" Haruka replied, sounding confused. "What did you hear?"

_Please don't look under the bed. Please don't look under the bed._

There's a pause, but no heads pop up under the bed to check. Takane sighs, "Sorry, I'm probably just a bit tense."

"Sorry!" the bed makes a noise, as if he had moved away from her. "We don't have to do anything if you aren't feeling well."

"It's ok, idiot," she chuckled nervously. "I'm just– it's dumb, we've done this before– it's... it's not like I don't want to or anything."

"Oh," Haruka replied with the same amount of awkwardness. "Y – yeah, I know what you mean, hahaha..."

Shintaro covers his ears. Another message pops up on his phone though,

_[Unknown number, 5:32 PM] ARE THEY GONNA YOU KNOW WHAT_   
_[Unknown number, 5:32 PM] WE NEED TO GET OUTTTTTTTTTTTT_

Shintaro sighs.

_[Kisaragi Shintaro, 5:32 PM] i dont think so theyre too prude_

_[Unknown number, 5:32 PM] "we've done this before teehee" dude._

_[Kisaragi Shintaro, 5:32 PM] theyre just gonna make out you got us into this deal with it_   
_[Kisaragi Shintaro, 5:32 PM] just cover your fucking ears or something like im doing_

However, as if by magic, the sound of a zipper immediately follows up, and it makes Shintaro and Kano nearly snap their necks when turning their heads towards each other in complete panic.

And it all happens at once, because Shintaro begins _screaming._

Just straight up yelling as he crawls out from under the bed, not even pausing to see Kano's reaction. He distinguishes Haruka and Takane yelling as well, and when he's out, finally standing up, they're still yelling, holding onto each other in complete fright.

Shintaro's yelling, Haruka's yelling, Takane's yelling, Kano's crawling on the floor.

But when they realise who it is, the screaming stops, so Shintaro stops his own as well.

They just stare at him, and then Takane looks at Haruka, and immediately bolts away from him, pressing herself against the wall, "What kind of creepy kink is this!? I'm gonna beat you both to DEATH!"

Haruka holds his hands up in defense, "W – wow, wow! I had no idea he was here either!"

Takane relaxes her body at the statement, but she was still breathing heavily. She directs at Shintaro, "What in the WORLD are you doing here!?"

"I'm also here," Kano suddenly stands up, and Haruka and Takane's yelling resumes.

"STOP screaming!" Shintaro screamed. Yep. "My ears, jesus christ!"

"S – so you get to jump out from under my bed but we don't get to say anything!?" Haruka exclaimed. "Were _you_ the ones who left my door open and turned on the lights!?"

"That is correct," Kano nods. Haruka and Takane squint at him,

"And what are _you_ doing here!? What's wrong with you people!" Takane threw a punch at the pillow, turning back to Haruka and pointing a menacing finger at him. " _Prove_ to me you have nothing to do with this or I swear to god I will walk through that door and you will never see me again."

Kano, Haruka and Shintaro all start yelling again, but this time they're just talking one another, making Takane's angry face jump her attention from man to man. Eventually, Shintaro yells loud enough to make everyone shut up, " _TAKANE!_ Seriously, calm down! Haruka really didn't know, I _swear._ Kano fucking stole his keys on saturday and tricked me into coming here claiming it was his apartment because he was looking for the painting he knows we stole but he thought you guys were working late because that's what you told me but you guys arrived and he hid so I hid too because I was too shocked to think straight and I was not gonna stay in there while you guys had sex above me so I just got out."

He makes a big exhale after he's done talking, having said all of that in one breath.

Putting a hand over his heart, feeling its accelerated beat, Shintaro doesn't even want to see their reactions to everything he said. However, Kano shrugs and says, "Yeah, pretty much."

The couple in the bed watched them with wide eyes.

Takane's face transforms into venomous anger, making the kind of face that never fails to make Shintaro's skin crawl. The face she makes when something very bad is about to happen. It's even intimidating the way she zips back her skirt, preparing herself to get up.

But before she could, Haruka stands up, suddenly towering over Kano.

"You took my keys?" he asks him, and oh wow, his voice just sounded... different. He didn't look angry, certainly not happy of course, but not angry.

Kano clears his throat, and holds a finger in front of Haruka's face telling him to wait up. He puts a hand in his jeans' pockets, taking out the keys with the Yoshi keychain. He grabs Haruka's hand, opens it, deposits the keys on his palm, and closes it back, patting his knuckles.

Haruka opens his mouth to say something else, but Kano holds a finger up again, "Apapapa!"

Hand in pocket again, this time he takes out his wallet, he starts counting the money out loud. He takes out a pretty large sum, and repeats the process of depositing on Haruka's hand and closing it, "The money I owe you plus a tip because you deserve it, handsome."

Now _that_ makes Haruka furrow his brows. Shintaro sees how tightly he shut his knuckles around the keys and the money, his face heating up in either anger, humiliation, or both.

"Y – you..." Haruka breathes in, "Made me do a 3 ft tall _horrendous_ painting, disappeared off the face of the earth in order to not pay me for it therefore _making me waste days of my life,_ which forced me to suffer the humiliation of calling my father to ask him for money because I couldn't make rent that month, which made him torment me for over six months trying to convince me to move back in with him. I see you again a year later, pretending nothing happened, and I decide it's fine because I did get the stupid painting back and it'd be hypocritical to demand payment of something I retrieved. But then you _steal my keys,_ made me waste my time again having to call a locksmith and my landlord on a sunday, only to later _break in and hide under my bed?"_

Silence descends in the room.

Shintaro felt like he needed to cough but he didn't dare. He looks at Takane still sitting on the bed, watching the scene with as much shock as him. Kano, on his part, seemed to try to keep it together, but Shintaro could see he was sweating.

Still smiling, all he says is, "Sowwy?"

"Get out of my apartment," Haruka answers in a heartbeat. For a second no one moves, and especially not Kano, but Haruka points at the door with a violent jerk of his arm, _"Now!_ OUT!"

Kano does a nod and holds his hands up as if admitting defeat and steps back, walking away towards the door.

Then Haruka turns to Shintaro, "You too."

"What, me!? What'd I do!?"

"Leave! Both of you!"

"You heard the man, Shintaro-kun. Let's go," Kano grabbed the keys from the counter next to the door to open it, as if it were his own house, leaving them back on their place, "Just gonna leave that there! Remember to lock it later~"

Kano giggles, pointing to how he's still not taking this seriously, making Shintaro's blood boil. Possibly also Haruka and Takane's. Shintaro looks back at Haruka, but he was just crossing his arms and his angry expression didn't budge. He sighs, and reluctantly follows Kano out of the apartment.

As soon as they close the door behind them, they hear it lock, as if Haruka, Takane or both had dashed to do so at full speed.

"What a shit show," is all Kano says as soon as they get on the elevator. Shintaro can't help himself anymore,

"What is wrong with you."

"A lot. And you?" he answers, only frustrating Shintaro further.

"You... can't possibly not see everything wrong with what just happened," he says, trying to keep calm. "Throughout the entire day, actually. Pretending to be my co-worker, are you for _real?"_

"I told you, I just wanted to mess with you!"

"Why!?"

"Because my sister wrote her suicide letter to you instead of her family and it makes me angry."

Shintaro receives the answer the same way he'd receive a punch, or a bucket of cold water dropped on him, or a bag full of bricks. He jumps off the elevator as soon as it opens its doors, turning to still face Kano, "THAT'S WHAT THIS IS ABOUT?! ARE YOU SERIOUS?!"

"I wasn't lying about anything else I said," suddenly somber, Kano calmly stepped out after him. Soon both were standing together in the foyer. "I am terrible when I get mad, and, well. That made me mad."

Shintaro groans at nothing, turning around and spinning in circles while holding on his head. This could not be happening, this guy cannot be real.

"Kano, I'm fucking sorry your dead sister decided to write to me instead of you, okay? But I've got news for you buddy; THAT'S NOT MY FAULT!"

"You could've treated her better while she was still here, though," Kano watches him with an uncharacteristic cold expression, but it didn't look forced or out of place. As if this had been his real face the entire time, and all others had been masks. "If you were worthy of being the person she wrote to, I wouldn't mind. But you aren't. You're just some... _some guy,_ and a shitty one at that. And she was too miserable to realize she deserved better than you. And that's something she'll never know, but you do, don't you? You better know."

Kano spoke with such emotion it showed the actual honesty within him.

"And then I actually talked to you," Kano carries on, his icy attitude shifting to full on anger now. "And I actually _like you._ "

He spits the words like venom, and Shintaro realizes the disgust he speaks with is directed at himself rather than him.

"And I found myself thinking... _so this is why big sis liked him so much,_ " he says, voice filled with impotence and sadness. "And that made me the angriest of all."

Each word was almost like a dagger being thrown at his head. Shintaro felt like he was running out of breath, and all he can do is choke out a, "Why?"

He doesn't even know what he's asking. "Why" what, exactly? There were too many things to ask "why" to. However, Kano just shrugs. Shintaro wonders what question is he shrugging to, if any at all.

Kano starts walking towards him, and Shintaro doesn't step away so he doesn't look like a coward. But he is, and despite he's frozen in place, he still trembled and struggled to keep his posture. Kano stops when he's uncomfortably close to him, saying, "You like me too, don't you, Shintaro-kun?"

"Absolutely not," Shintaro shoots back, and Kano feigns a pout,

"Oh, but you do," he says. "Otherwise why'd ya kiss me back earlier? Or spent the night with me?"

He feels himself get red from head to toe, "Nothing _happened_ that night."

_Right?_

"No," Kano confirms, and Shintaro feels like they've just taken a bag of rocks off from his shoulders. "But you kept wondering, isn't it? I bet I was all you could think of since then."

Stop. He can't let him know he's right.

"Why did you kiss me back, Shintaro-kun?" Kano chirps. "Were you doing your best to hate me, too? Don't tell me we also have that in common–"

Instinctively, Shintaro jerks his hands forward and takes Kano by the collar, knuckles turning white. He seemed taken off guard for a second, but when he's being pulled up to his height, Kano just smirks, "Are you going to hit me now?"

Shintaro didn't even know he had the strength to do this, but by the way his arms hurt he realized he didn't and he was just so angry he could do anything. He just stares hard at Kano, breathing shakily through his nose, the air hitting the other man on the face. But he just continued to smirk at him.

And if he's being entirely honest, he doesn't know who kisses who first. Maybe it was at the same time, but there's nothing tender or delicate about the situation. Kissing furiously is the best way to put it, in the most literal way possible. Their teeth even clicked together, but despite it hurting, they don't break apart.

Kano wraps his arms around him, but it's also not as gentle and cute as it sounds. He tightly holds on the back of his head, practically pulling his hair, while Shintaro held on his shirt for dear life, possibly stretching it forever.

And just like that, he pushes him off. Kano manages to catch his balance and not fall, but Shintaro doesn't stay to see that. He simply turns around and leaves.

* * *

"I'm home!"

Momo's announcement rings through the apartment, and the way she loudly shuts the door makes the other doors tremble. She's one of those people who can't do anything quietly; everyone has to know where she is and what she's doing at all times. Shintaro hears her futing all the way to his bedroom.

She opens the door of his room just as gracefully (which is to say, not gracefully), "Big bro!"

Laying face down against his pillow, Shintaro only offers a groan as an answer.

Momo doesn't see that as something out of the ordinary, so she continues the interaction normally, "How was your first day of wooork?"

He offers another groan, and she giggles.

"Oh, you," she says. "I'm glad!"

And with that, she leaves again, thankfully shutting the door. Shintaro felt his ears ringing already.

He sighs, rolling back to face the ceiling. Bad day.

Shintaro feels his phone start buzzing next to him, and an inane anxiety fills him. But then he sees the caller is Takane, and he picks up the phone almost immediately.

"Hello?" he goes, maybe a little too desperately.

Takane's soft voice receives him from the other end of the line, and fortunately, she didn't sound angry. "Hey. How are you?"

_Bad._ "G – good, I'm good. Uh, and you?"

"We're fine," she answers, and Shintaro nods despite knowing she couldn't see him. So she's still with Haruka, huh. "I uh, wanted to check on you after... whatever the hell happened today."

"Yeah, I bet," he forces out a chuckle. "Listen I'm... very sorry about that whole thing, I–"

"It's fine, Kano called us to explain it was all his fault," Takane cuts him off, and Shintaro is left with the rest of his apology hanging on his throat.

"...He did?"

"Yeah, I'm not sure how he got our numbers but hey. Man stole some keys and found an address, so I wouldn't be too surprised," she says, dismissing the kind act of clearing things up for him. "I told him that if I ever see him again I'll pulverize him, which I think is pretty kind considering the situation."

"I – I see, yeah," he clears his throat. "Well... um, I, I hope you guys aren't mad at me..."

"We aren't, of course," she reassures. "We hope you aren't mad at us, either."

"For what?"

"For lying about working late... Haruka's also sorry about kicking you out like that."

"Ah. Yeah."

"Wasn't cool. Sorry," Takane carried heavy guilt along her words. "It won't happen again."

"It's okay," Shintaro sighs. "You guys wanted to be alone, I get that. What are you supposed to say, "no, we're hanging out without you?". A... a white lie is alright from time to time, I guess."

There's a pause for a second, but when she speaks up again, Takane sounded surprised, "That is... very mature of you."

"Heh, thanks. Guess anybody can grow up a little after the day I had."

She laughs, "Did Kano bother you too much? If you want I'll pulverize him now. I'll track him down."

"N – no, that's fine," he nervously replies. The worst part of him wishes she never saw Kano again out of the guy's own safety. "It's... fine. I'm just glad everything's okay between us."

"Me too," he can practically hear her smile. "I was thinking maybe you, Haruka and I could do a little roadtrip one of these days, to the biggest dumpster we can find."

"What for?'

"Get rid of the painting."

Shintaro laughs, "That... sounds wonderful."

"Yeah! You'll help me convince Haruka of burning it, right?" she says, and he can hear a loud "no!" from Haruka in the background of the call.

"Uhh, we'll see about that."

"Great! Shintaro says we can burn it!" she seems to yell off the phone, and another and longer "nooo!" is heard. Takane comes back, "Well, I hope you're doing well. We're here if you need anything."

"Thanks..."

"Well, see ya."

"Bye."

He keeps the phone next to his head even after she hangs up, and lets out another breath. Well, he's glad at least that's solved.

But really, what else is there to do? In case it wasn't clear enough, the entire chaos caused by Kano and Kano alone makes it obvious Shintaro has no intentions of ever seeing that little blond rat ever again. All that's left is pray he doesn't stalk him at work or something; if he does, he's hoping it's just to return his backpack that he left in the car. He had his uniform there.

It was gonna be fine. Chapter started as soon as it ended, goodbye forever. Nothing happened. Kisses, what kisses? There were no kisses involved. Shintaro's a proud virgin in every sense of the world, and he likes girls and girls only. He wants to go to sleep.

Momo bursts into his room again.

"GAH!" he yells, almost falling out of bed. He quickly sits up, "Would you mind knocking?!"

She ignores him, "Start getting ready!"

"...Huh?" he watches her with a bored but still confused expression. "What for?"

"You told me you were coming to have a family dinner with me and Tsubomi today, remember!" Momo puffs up her cheeks. "Tsubomi's been meaning to get acquainted with my family and she invited us over for dinner! I told you this last week!"

"Wh – when!? Did I answer you?"

"You said mm-hmm. You were in bed."

"Are you kidding! That doesn't count!"

"It does! Now get dressed and you better make a good impression!"

She leaves with a slam of the door. Shintaro is just left sitting there, feeling like huge jackass despite it wasn't his fault she told him while he was probably asleep. Groaning, he lays back on his bed with zero intentions of getting up. Then, he hears the door again, opening more softly this time. He sees Momo shyly popping in, 

"Please, big bro. For me?"

He feels his heart squeeze inside his chest, both out of weakness and reluctance. "...Fine."

"Yay!" Momo leaves again, leaving the door open this time. She calls back, "Love youuu!"

He sighs, starting to worry about what he's even gonna wear to appear presentable. Wait– oh, god. Kido saw him the other day when he went down the stairs from sleeping over in Kano's room. He prays to god she doesn't bring it up or tell Momo about it.

However, with that thought comes another one, and when it lands on Shintaro's mind, he shoots up from his bed and runs to the door, almost tripping in the process.

"W – wait, Momo!" he holds on the frame as he looks at his sister about to enter her own bedroom, "B – by any chance, her _brothers_ aren't gonna be there, right–"

"Well, what part of family dinner don't you understand?" Momo rolls her eyes and goes into her bedroom. "Of course they're gonna be there."

Oh.

Shintaro feels his phone buzz in his hand.

_[Unknown number, 6:47 PM] make urself pretty tonightttttt :* :*_

This... was going to be a situation.

A difficult one.

**Author's Note:**

> Lol. Sorry for leaving it unresolved. I just don't think Kano and Shintaro would start off the best way, and exploring that is very fun to me. Writing Shintaro's denial was SUPER fun.
> 
> Happy delayed kageday!!! Hope you stayed away from trucks hehe


End file.
